Fly away with me... eh?

Tomorrow, I'm going to jet off to China by way of... Canada. I haven't heard of anyone else's taking this particular route before. But hey, I love me some Canadia (home of my first legal alcohol purchase at age 19).

One reason that I'm excited about this trip is that I haven't been out of the country (excluding Canada or my 10-or-so hours in Nassau) since the summer of 7th grade. I had originally planned to see family in China after high school, but then there was that blip on the epidemiological radar called SARS. My grandmother figured that it was safer for me to stay in the States, and being cautious/neurotic, I agreed.

So in 1.5 days or so, I'm going to see my extended family for the first time in 9 years. My cousins were 8 and 9 the last time that I saw them; now, they're getting ready for college. One of them, I hear, is 6' 2". (His mom is actually the shortest amongst her sisters, but her small stature is generally blamed on poor childhood nutrition resulting from a famine.) The discrepancy between my mental image of my cousins and their actual states is truly mind-boggling, so I had the hardest time trying to decide what to bring them from the U.S. (Seriously. Last time, it was hand-me-downs and some toys.) Since my last trip to China, Westernization has brought most goods within the reach of Chinese people. My grandmother lives next door to a friggin' Wal-Mart, for crying out loud. Thus, the former novelty of getting something "American" has largely worn off. But having no better ideas (and after consulting about 5 different people on the matter), I decided to be a stalwart in my determination to provide something quintessentially "American." I made a gift box celebrating American gluttony and excess.

Inside said gift box, there will be boxes (boxes in a box, if you will) of junk food, including, but not limited to: Sour Patch Kids, Whoppers, Milk Duds, Goldfish (baked, not fried... moms love it...), Famous Amos Cookies. In other words, I am attempting to make my relatives obese. But hopefully they'll enjoy their proverbial slice of American Pie. (The literal pie was ruled out since baked goods (1) would not make it past customs and (2) are too hard to transport.) Type 2 diabetes is all the rage nowadays, anyway.

Because of my trip, my updates to the blog will change in frequency. I'll update even less (which seems hard to do, really) due to lack of internet access, or perhaps I'll update more since it'll be the only way to mass-communicate what I'm up to in China short of making an email list.

So, my friends, a big 再见 from the DizzleTizzle goes out to each of you. I guess it’s worth noting that In Chinese, we don’t tell you to keep God with you. (I mean, are you going to die or something?!) We say, “See you again.” Entonces, hasta la vista, mis amigos.