Swine Flu

Due to a potential case of H1N1 "swine flu" in a dental student, classes at Harvard medical, dental, and public health schools have been canceled. Students have been advised to avoid public activities in order to protect themselves and the community, pending the results of diagnostic tests to determine if the aforementioned student has the infamous strain of porcine influenza. This experience is truly a front-row seat to disaster health care and epidemiology.

A siren blares in the background. This is a familiar sound on Longwood Avenue, but now I have to wonder why it's here.

Post script: It's worth pointing out that I literally live on the medical campus. Canceling classes changes my geographical location by maybe 400 meters, max.

Inspiration FAIL

"I Hope You Dance" is supposed to be an inspirational ditty. We had people doing talent show performances to this song in grade school, leaping and bounding across the stage during the refrain.

However, here's an example of an epic FAIL of inspiration using Lee Ann Womack's song. Here are screen caps with the associated lyrics:


That's right. When Rosa Parks has the choice to "sit it out" [in the front of the bus] or dance, she should dance.

Also, I like this gem, which may actually may demonstrate more insight than I'm acknowledging. After all 50% of pregnancies in the US are unplanned.



Maybe I'm just being mean, but really?...

Privatization

In about two weeks, I'm going to make this blog open to subscribed readers only. If you actually read this thing and would like to stay in the möbius-strip-like loop of my life, please shoot me an email to get added to the readers list.

Also, I'm happy to report that I've started a new public blog on my experiences as a medical student at HMS. Hopefully, some of my classmates will also blog with me and make this reflective process an interesting one!

Finally, I'm a little behind on posts, and I hope to catch up soon. But for now, it's time to hit the books and learn a few things about the immune system.

Divertirse.

From GChat:

Mayce: it sounds like an effing frat party out my window
Mayce: i'm so confused
Me: ???
Me: are people having fun?
Me: is that possible?
Mayce: i can't imagine they're hms people
Mayce: they sound too happy and carefree

Med School Priorities

I actually can't overstate how much better this weekend has been due to white cheddar Cheez-Its.

Also, note that I own 3 different books by Costanzo. I've probably pointed this out before, but good gosh[usa].

Happy Bday, Alison

"If you're yellow, stay mellow." Happy Birthday to our favorite mellow yellow person.


It's probably worth noting that Alison's last name means (or actually, is) "yellow" in Chinese. It's also worth mentioning that this project is an attempt to "own yellowness"--don't try this at home.

Home Alone Moment

AHHHHHHHHHH!
(hands on cheeks)

Emoticon verisimilitude

From GChat:

Colleen: omg, how did you find an emocon that mimics your exact expression?
Colleen: I'm still laughing btw

The "smiley" face?

Best Comment Thread, Ever

Recently, there was a YDN op-ed on Bobby Jindal's disastrous Mister-Rogers-meets-Kenneth-the-Page response to Obama's State of the Union Address. The written piece itself was interesting, but its comment thread stole the show:

• #6 By new politics 8:40am on February 28, 2009
  We need Ron Paul
  
  
• #7 By Hiero II 9:17pm on February 28, 2009
  We need Sean Paul
  
  
• #8 By lolcats 8:24pm on March 1, 2009
  We need Pope John Paul
  
  
• #9 By Led Zep 2:18am on March 2, 2009
  We need John Paul Jones
  
  
• #10 By Saved by the Bell 9:38am on March 3, 2009
  We need Mark-Paul Gosselaar
  
  
• #11 By P Diddy 11:36am on March 3, 2009
  We need Sean John

Zack Morris, you can replace Bobby Jindal anyday. But this thead is particularly sweet because of its Ron-Paul-to-Sean-Paul transition. As you may recall, I am a huge fan of this comparison:

UR invited b/c UR ivee.

I got an obnoxious invitation today to attend the Ivy Council Conference in Washington, D.C. Founded in 1993 (not old enough to drink yet--even in Canada), the Ivy Council is apparently some group that thinks that it's a good idea for students from exclusive institutions to be even more exclusive. To attend this conference, you have to apply and be selected.

Here's the invite:

Hey, the reason your getting this email is because your at Harvard, and we wanted to tell you about the Ivy Council. The Ivy Council is the only student run organization that brings all of the Ivy Schools together as one.

We are trying to spread the word about a major event that is going on with delegates from all of the Ivy league institutions and was wondering if you could forward this application to all of the student groups that you may oversee or be a part of.

Are you interested in discussing foreign and domestic policy issues, such as education, health care, and Middle East policy, with some of Washington's heavy hitters? If so, apply to the CIVIC Conference - Change Involving Values In Communities! Hosted by the Ivy Council and USA Today, this conference will be a weekend full of engaging discussions with government leaders on the Hill and in the heart of Washington, D.C. Programming will also include forums at the USA Today headquarters and opportunities for policy-inclined students of the Ivy League to network with one another.

Where do I begin?

1. Two your/you're errors in the very first sentence! Not sure if that tuition has been worth it.
   
2. What's the inherent benefit of bringing students from Ivy League institutions together? Isn't there some limit to the concentration of tools in one physical space? Oh wait, this in the "heart of Washington D.C."--aka K Street. (It's ok. I worked at 13th and I, so I can say this.)
   
3. What the heck is "change involving values in communities"? And how will your networking mixer encourage this to happen?

Ever the fan of word thrift, I can rewrite the invitation in three sentences:

Hey, are ewe interested in attending an exclusive event to make you'reself feel like you're tuition dollars have been put to good, exclusive use? Apply to attend our Conference, which will allow you to talk to heretofore unidentified "heavy-hitters" (no performance-enhancing drugs, promise) in D.C.! We will also be discussing the definitions of "community," "values," and "change" within any and every context imaginable since some freshman (from an IVY!) came up with this theme after his intro political philosophy final.

Doctor Poncho

From my boss from last year:

We are taking up a collection to get you a new white coat/jacket thing. And don't cool docs have them in fashion colors or something? Seriously, you gotta get that thing tailored.

Feedback

From Christine (K.), via GChat:

When I have to Google a word that you used that ends up being an uncomfortably strange and painful medical condition, it means you need to step away from your books and run 30 miles away from campus andpractice conversing in normal speak. Don't make me worry for you. Run!

The word? Priapism.

The context? Pfizer.

One is...

the loneliest number. And what better way to emphasize how alone you are than coming back to GChat to find that no one else is there?

Status message: not so much desperate as sad that he doesn't know which cells in the nephron do what...


On a side note, I was just almost plowed over (literally) by a snow plow on Longwood Ave. My sympathetic nervous system went crazy, and the second thought to my head (after "AHHHHHH!") was about how my afferent arterioles may have just constricted.

Thanks, renal physiology, for making me the best party conversationalist, ever.

New Proposal for Medical Device

At lunch a week ago, the topic of edema somehow came up. Medical school is probably one of the few places in the world where it's socially acceptable to chat about fluid retention over a meal. Anyhow, it soon became obvious to me and my classmates that the health care system has been overlooking a universal cure for peripheral edema.

Americans, forget diuretics and elevating legs; think ShamWow:


Extrapolating the product demonstration from this video, it seems that a doctor would only need to place the ShamWow on the surface affected body parts. And then, BAM!, no more fluid accumulation in the interstitial space. Hell, perhaps the product would work if you just moved a ShamWow into the same room as the patient. However, we may need to take some special precautions to ensure that the patient does not become hypovolemic.

Vince Offer, you need to patent your product for medical use immediately. The device industry will never be the same.

Weird statements make good neighbors.

Three adjacent lines from GChat:

you kind of need for your tunica albuginea to be intact
tacos
haha

Early Thanksgiving

So Mayce and Danielle are having a joint birthday party this weekend. One part of the festivities is a dinner, and the invitation went something like this:

we were hoping to invite you all over to danielle, julia and selena's place for dinner. we'll bring the chinese if you bring the booze (and desserts). it will be delicious. it will be delightful.

Sensing a great opportunity for getting one of my cousins a free trip to the States, I replied:

wait, so if i bring some booze, will you bring over some of my relatives?!!!

I happily received the following response from Mayce:

it's that simple. welcome to the immigration policy under the obama administration!

There you have it. Forget getting a visa; I'm sending USCIS a keg.

Electric Shaving FAIL

I cut my face while using an electric razor.

This takes talent... Or complete lack of skill.

Crunk!!!

I've already mentioned one bizarre energy drink in this blog. I'm happy (?) to report that physiology has facilitated my encounter with another.

Introducing... Crunk!!!


This party-in-a-can was obtained in the cafeteria at Brigham and Women's Hospital the night before my cardiovascular physiology quiz. Basically, I was occupied until about 9:00 p.m., at which point I had to review the entire week's content in one night. Thinking that I may need liquid assistance to stay up and study, I became the proud owner of a can of Crunk!!!. (Also, I felt compelled to buy it just because of its name.)

Well, to make a boring story slightly less boring, I'll just say that staying up until 4:00 a.m. actually did not help me on the quiz. I was so zombified the next day that I literally couldn't even remember what the concavity of the Starling curve was. Luckily, I figured it out after about 5 minutes of "thinking" (or staring off into space in the auditorium).

The best part of all of this is I actually didn't end up consuming my Crunk!!!. Now I have it around in case (read: when) renal physiology gets desperate. (And perhaps it'll help me learn why caffeine is a diuretic and where it acts on the nephron.)

Update: Holy crap. Crunk!!! is endorsed by Lil John. (YEAAAH!)

What are those strange marks on your face?

GChat status message:

♫ ok, andres just walked into tmec105 to find me faceplanted on the table, passed out. haha, *sigh*

180 Degrees

Today, we were told the correct answers to Friday's quiz on cardiovascular physiology. It's great when you get a question exactly wrong. You thought that stroke volume would decrease? Nope, it would increase. What about that pulmonary pressure? Oh, shoot. That increased, too?!

*sigh*